Trapped
by zalmentra
Summary: Jacob's life has been miserable ever since he imprinted on Renesmee. He doesn't want to be with the half-vampire he views as a child, but he can't control his own body anymore. Post Breaking Dawn. Rated T for some sexual references
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns everything about the Twilight series and I am not making any money off her characters. **

**PROLOGUE**

It was like the whole world stopped. I suddenly couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. I couldn't drag my eyes away from the tiny, wrapped bundle in the blond one's arms. My worries for Bella flew out of my mind as my entire world shifted into a new kind of motion. This time, my world orbited this one small baby…

**CHAPTER ONE – 7 years later**

I had nothing left to lose, anymore. I picked up the bag of carefully hoarded pills and passed it between my hands. I'd thought about this long and hard. I didn't want to die, not really. But I couldn't see any way out of this…this slavery. My pack had told me all about imprinting, of course, and what to expect. But it had all worked out for them. Sam had Emily and Jared had Kim…it was all normal. Quil's imprinting on toddler Claire had even worked out, strangely enough. Claire was too young to need anything but an uncle, a best friend. And Quil had been adamant he would never "groom" Claire into his ideal partner, like a lot of the tribe had been worried about, and he never had. But me… it wasn't working. Nothing was going right. I knew I _didn't_ want Renesmee, Bella's flesh and, well, not exactly blood. Venom, maybe.

It wasn't working like it should. Imprinting was supposed to be beautiful, make your life complete. But this wasn't complete. This definitely wasn't beautiful. This just made me feel trapped. Seven years since I had imprinted. It seemed like a lifetime.

"Jake? Where are you? What are you doing?" Renesmee's voice floated down the hall of the small house I was renting on the reservation.

I jumped and quickly stashed the pills in a box labelled with a prescription for cold and flu tablets. Hiding in plain sight.

"Uh, I'm coming," I called, trying to keep the guilt out of my voice.

"Well, hurry up and get out here," she replied, the command in her voice impossible to ignore. "I haven't seen you for too long!"

A shudder went through my body as I struggled to keep control of my limbs, but the level of "devotion" set down by the imprinting forced me to obey any command, no matter how little.

I walked into the tiny kitchen and saw her standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the counter.

"Jake, where've you been?" she asked, skipping over to me and sliding her arms around my neck. "It's been so long since you've been here…with me."

"I've been busy. You know, pack stuff. You know me, the wolf boy," It was so hard to lie, but it was the only form of control I had over my body anymore.

Nessie smiled, her hands running down my back. She leaned in and her lips brushed against mine as her hands skimmed the belt of my jeans. This was the time I hated most. In times of intimacy, it was as if my brain and its reasoning flew out the window, and my body took over, controlled by the desires of the imprinting.

She deepened the kiss, parting her lips slightly. My hands explored the soft skin just above her waist as our kissing became more and more passionate. It was as if I was watching from afar, hating myself, as we moved to the couch in the living room.

I hadn't been wearing a shirt, as usual, and Nessie obviously had no complaints as she stroked my chest and back to the belt buckle. Her quick fingers undid the buckle in lightning speed, a feat achieved with her vampiric nature. I pulled away from the kiss and stared down at her. She smiled and started to push down the jeans, but my brain had suddenly clicked in gear again. And my true self did _not _want to go where Nessie did. I caught her hands before she could get every far, and said wryly,

"You know, Ness, your father may not be able to die, but I can. And trust me; you don't want to get Daddy angry."

Nessie rolled her eyes. "You can take Dad in a fight, and you know it. Now, where were we?" She pulled my head down to hers to kiss me again, but I pulled away and rolled off the couch gracefully.

"What the hell, Jake? Don't you want to sleep with me?"

My mouth started to form the words she wanted to hear, and the words my body wanted me to say, but I forced myself to lie yet again.

"I do, Ness, but now's not the time. I just want our first time to be perfect, you know?"

"And when will that be?" she pouted.

"Soon, Ness. Soon."


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I don't. Just enjoying her characters and not making any money. **

**CHAPTER TWO**

Nessie was still grumpy as I drove us both to my father's place. He had arranged a meeting with the pack, and I was under Sam's orders to attend. I had obviously planned to go alone, but when Nessie had turned up I had to invite her. Under tribe tradition, an imprintee became part of the tribe and was always welcome at official gatherings. The part of me controlled by the imprinting hated to see her angry at me. I knew I had to put on a show for the tribe at the meeting, and I figured I may as well just start now. I relaxed my constant struggle to keep the control at bay and let the imprinting take over. Placing my hand on her knee, I said,

"Ness, don't be mad. You know I love you, right?"

She sniffed and stared out the window.

"Come on, Nessie, you know it's hard for me sometimes, right? I mean, it's only been seven years since you were born. You're meant to be a little kid still."

"But I'm not, Jacob. I may have only been alive for 7 years, but I look like I'm 17. I think like I'm 17. Isn't that enough for you?"

"It should be, Ness, but I keep thinking of you like you were when you were born. When you were growing up. And then when I'm…touching you, it makes me feel terrible. Like I'm…"

"Like you're making out with a 7-year old. Right. I get it."

"Ness, please."

"What do you want, Jake? Do you want to wait for another 10 years, until I'm really 17? You know what, I don't want to wait that long. I want _you_, Jacob. All of you."

I grimaced at the road in front of me. Everyone thought we were already having sex, I knew that. People had figured that as soon as she was (well, looked) the right age, I wouldn't be able to wait to get into her pants. No-one knew that I hated this mess. I hated myself when I was with Ness. I hated having to struggle just to walk away from her. This wasn't love. This was a sick obsession that I couldn't control. I didn't want to sleep with her, but I had to. I never wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't stop it. I never wanted to touch her, but I couldn't control my hands. My will power regarding sex was going to wither away until I couldn't control myself any longer. I knew it, and I couldn't prevent it from happening.

"Jake?" Ness asked. "Is it because you don't want to see me naked?"

Her blunt question shocked me.

"What? Are you kidding? You think that's the reason?"

"Well, maybe. I mean, you refuse to let me even lift up my shirt. What's a girl to think?"

I was astounded. Half-vampire Renesmee was just like every other teenage girl in the world.

"Ness, you are beautiful. You're special." I knew where these compliments were going, and I fought for control over my mouth, but I couldn't stop the fateful sentence coming out of my mouth.

"Come over tonight. We'll try then, if you want."

A smile spread across her face and she slipped her hand into mine, showing me her happiness. Seeing it made me feel optimistic, and I resolved to just let go to the control of the imprinting that night. It was just sex, right? And making Nessie happy was something that I did want, even in my own true self. After all, I'm a nice guy. Aren't I?


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight. I'm still not making any money off this story.**

**CHAPTER THREE**

I pulled up outside my father's house with Nessie still smiling. This was good. If I wanted to keep the charade up, I needed Ness to at least look happy. She hopped out of the car and was at my side in lightning speed as I clambered out a lot less gracefully. She wrapped her arms around me and whispered,  
"Thank you," before kissing me lightly on the lips. As always, it took a while for my brain to click back into gear and allow me to do something other than stare gormlessly at her. God, I hated imprinting. What happened to first love? The tingles you were supposed to get whenever they touched you? I didn't get to experience that. I just got to pretend I was in love with someone while fighting the urge to stalk her continuously. Ness didn't realise it, but had I given way to imprinting completely, she would have me staring through her bedroom window every night and watching her sleep, eat (well, hunt), and watch her do everything, everyday. I didn't want to commit felonies to have a girlfriend.

"Jacob! Get in here!" The order from my Alpha was like cold water had been thrown in my face. Orders from Sam were one of the only foolproof methods that overpowered the imprinting. I pulled away from Nessie and gestured towards the house.  
"Gotta go, Ness," I said, trying to keep the relief out of my voice. Nessie fell into step with me as I started towards the house, slipping her arm around my waist. My arm was around hers in return before I could stop it. We stepped through the door of the house like this, looking for all the world like a happy couple, laughing and joking together. But my laughter stopped abruptly as I noticed the solemn faces of my pack and the entire council.  
"What?" I demanded. "What's happened?" Sam's eyes flickered towards Nessie before he answered.  
"We've got a problem."  
"Yeah, I figured that out, thanks," I said. "What happened?"  
My father, Billy, said grimly from his wheelchair,  
"The Cullens are in trouble."

Before I could stop myself, I had placed myself in front of Nessie, instinctively protecting her.  
"What is it?" I asked.  
"The royal bloodsuckers are coming back." Paul said viciously. "And Sam wants us to protect the other leeches."  
I heard a small sob from Nessie behind me, a sound that threatened to tear me apart from the inside. I started to shake violently and would have phased and attacked Paul for insulting Nessie's family had Sam not intervened with a sharp order.  
"Jacob! Calm down. Paul, just hold off on the insults, okay?"  
My breathing slowed as I fought my brain for control again. It was all the imprinting that had made me start to phase. I was usually the first to call vampires leeches or bloodsuckers. But now I couldn't even choose what to say. It was all controlled.  
"Okay," Sam said. "I know some of us have mixed feelings about the Cullens, but the reality is, Jacob imprinted on one of them, so we have a duty to protect them."  
"What? Bullshit we have to protect them! We have to protect Nessie. And that's all." Paul spat. "We don't have to look after the Cullens. They can do it perfectly well themselves."  
"Paul, if Nessie's family gets destroyed, that in turn destroys her, you know, emotionally. So we need to protect Nessie by protecting her family." Sam replied evenly. "We're doing this, Paul, and that is an order."  
Paul fell silent, overpowered by the Alpha's orders, but not without sending a few malevolent glances at Nessie. He had never gotten over the fact that I had imprinted on a bloodsucker or that she was now welcome at our meetings. I really wished I could tell him I agreed with him.  
"Anyway, if we've got the complaints out of the way, we need to plan. Alice sent a message to tell us. She saw them coming in less than two weeks. The Volturi, aren't they called?"


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight. I'm still not making any money off this story.**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Why?" I asked. "Why are they coming? They've done nothing wrong, have they? Last time the Volturi came, it was to check on Ness. They thought the Cullens had broken the law. But they hadn't, so they left. Depriving us of a fight and all. So why now?"  
"According to Alice, they've been watching her, Edward and Bella. Even Jasper. They've decided that their...abilities are too good to pass up. They want them to join them."  
"They'll never go. Never." We all turned in shock at the sound of Nessie's voice. She took my hand and squeezed it tightly, obviously trying to keep from breaking down completely.  
Sam nodded. "They've apparently foreseen that. If they don't join them, they're going to kill them. Their mindset apparently is 'If we can't have them, no-one can'."  
Nessie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.  
"So they've finally decided to act, have they?" Paul said. "It's okay. We can fight them. Take them down before they even get here."  
Sam nodded. "We're going to have to, I think. We can't count on them just talking it over again. Billy? Council? What are your views?"

Billy inhaled slowly. "If we must protect the Cullens, you must fight. You can defeat these cold ones. But you will need to join the Cullens again."  
I could see out of the corner of my eye that Paul and Jared were less than happy. The others were indifferent. I suddenly realised that one of the pack was missing.  
"Hey, where's Leah? We can't make a decision without everyone here."  
"She knows already. She's gone to talk to the Cullens."  
My eyes widened. "You sent _Leah_ to talk to the _Cullens_?" Leah hated the vampires even more than Paul did. Sam raised his arms defensively.  
"Hey, she wanted to go, all right? Can we move on?" Without waiting for my assent, he continued. He was the Alpha. He didn't need consent. "Jacob, you need to get Nessie back to her family. No doubt she'd rather be with them than with us right now. We'll be taking patrols around the area, in case these vampires turn up early. Tonight, Jake and Paul cover our land. Leah is sorting out patrols for the Cullens to take. They don't need to sleep, so they're a better choice to cover their own land. All right? Jacob, head out. The rest of you, with me."

Nodding to the council, Sam and the rest of the pack ran outside. I turned and watched them phase simultaneously as they reached the forest, wishing I could go with them. I had been cut off from a few pack gatherings now because of Nessie.  
"Come on, Ness," I said quietly. I pulled her out the door and led her to the car.

Nessie managed to hold in her rant until we got into the car, when she exploded.  
"What the hell do the Volturi want with us? It's so unfair, like, why can't they go after someone else? There's like a million other vampires in the world that would gladly join the Volturi. But no, they have to go after _my _family. It's just so unfair!"  
On the outside, I nodded and agreed with her in all the right places as she continued to rant on and on, but on the inside, in the part of me that wasn't under Nessie's spell, I noted that she sounded just like a spoilt child. Which was really what she was, when you thought about it. She was doted upon by everyone in the Cullen family. That was all she had known in her short 7 years of life. She refused to see anything wrong with what she was saying. She refused to see anything that might distinguish her family from everyone else in a way that could possibly make her life difficult.  
"Maybe it's me again. Maybe the thing with Mom and Dad is just a ruse. I mean, they have to know that they'd never join them. And they wouldn't kill us just because they didn't go with them. No, I think it has to be me, right? What do you think, Jake?"  
I frowned. I longed to set her straight with a few sharp words, but saying anything that might hurt her was something strictly controlled by the imprinting. I couldn't make my mouth form the words that I so desperately wanted to say. Instead my mouth moved itself and said,  
"Yeah, you might be right. I'm going to check with Sam and see if we can get you some extra protection. You're worth the extra effort."  
While these words mollified Ness and stopped her rant for a while, I cursed my lack of control. That was just going to make it worse. Making her think she was special enough to deserve us depleting our numbers was the exact thing that made her so spoilt. I gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white. Oblivious, Nessie leaned over and turned on the radio, searching for a good station. Finding one, she leant over and rested her head on my warm shoulder.  
"I'm glad you're with me, Jake," she said serenely.  
"I'm glad you're with me, too, Ness," I said, the lie coming so naturally.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns everything about the Twilight series and I am not making any money off her characters.**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

"Oh my God, Jacob!" Bella Cullen's voice rang out across the Cullens' driveway as I pulled up with Nessie. In a flash she was at Nessie's door and helping her daughter out. As she embraced her daughter, I wrinkled my nose at the stench. Seven years on and I still couldn't get used to Bella as a bloodsucker. Oh, I didn't love her anymore. But it was strange seeing the girl I had used to obsess over hard and frozen like this. I certainly wouldn't try and kiss her again, that was for sure.

I turned away and grinned when I saw a flash of blond hair on the porch. Rosalie Hale appeared next to me with her nose wrinkled in the exact same way as mine was.  
"I thought I smelled something," she said disdainfully. I smiled wider.  
"Hey, Rosalie, how do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday."  
She sniffed. "Seven years later and you haven't found a joke I haven't heard yet. Try harder next time, dog."  
I laughed and turned to face Bella. "Hey, Bella," I said. "Just bringing home your daughter, just before curfew, as always." I bowed jokingly. "Where's Daddy? He bought a shotgun yet?"

"I would never shoot you, Jacob," Edward said, suddenly appearing behind me and moving to stand next to Bella. I raised my eyebrows. "It would make Nessie sad. And a good father tries to keep his daughter happy no matter what."

_Yeah, _I thought, _like spoiling her so much she doesn't even get that her parents could be in danger._

Edward frowned the tiniest bit, but didn't say anything.  
"Whatever," I said. "I have to get back to the pack." Turning to Nessie, I hugged her. Feeling Edward's eyes boring into my back, the old desire to make him angry surged back up. I kissed Nessie on the lips passionately, letting myself go just to make Edward annoyed. I smiled into Nessie's lips and pulled away.  
"That was to make up for tonight," I whispered. "I'm really sorry we can't...you know..."  
Nessie frowned and pushed me away. "What are you talking about?"  
"You heard Sam, didn't you? I have to patrol tonight. We can't go out like we planned."  
Nessie's face froze and she glanced towards her parents. Scowling, she snarled,  
"Whatever," and pushed past me to run into the house. Bella and Edward looked at each other, confused. Edward frowned at me.  
"What did you do to my daughter, dog?" he growled.  
"What are you asking for? Just read my damn mind like always." I snapped back. I turned my back on them and jumped back in my car, slamming the door and speeding away.

Fuming, I glanced out of the window and nearly crashed the car as I noticed the big gray wolf running flat out beside the car. I swore loudly and slammed on the brakes. I pulled over as the wolf slowed to a jog and trotted behind some trees. I waited for a bit, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel impatiently, until a tall, thin girl emerged from the trees and jogged to the passenger side of the car. She swung in gracefully and punched me lightly in the arm.  
"Thanks for stopping, Jake."  
"Yeah, well, you nearly made me stop so hard I would have wrapped the car around a tree. Hi, Leah." I replied sarcastically.  
Leah laughed. "So what happened with Nessie? She seemed upset when she ran past me and stepped on my tail. I swear she did it deliberately."  
I smiled fleetingly. "It's nothing. We had a...misunderstanding."  
"Ah," Leah said, grinning. "She denying you sex?"  
I slammed on the brakes and swerved accidentally. "What?" I choked.  
"Am I right? I'm totally right." She cried, pleased with herself.  
Driving straight again, I shook my head. "You're not right. I'm the one denying the sex."  
"What?" Leah said, suddenly serious. "Why?"  
"I'm not sure I'm ready for a deep and meaningful with you, Leah." I said wryly.  
"Oh, come on, macho man," she said, punching me again. "I've served underneath you in a pack. In two packs. You've been my Alpha. I shared my tales of woe to you about Sam, even though you hated me—"  
"I don't love her," I interrupted. Leah stopped, shocked into silence.  
"Wait, what?" she demanded.  
"I don't love her," I repeated. Leah blinked.  
"Oh," she said simply. "But—"  
"I know. I imprinted. I have to love her. That's what sucks. I can't do anything for myself anymore. It's all about her."  
Leah looked at me. "So you're a slave, basically. A slave to a bloodsucker. Damn, that must suck."  
I laughed. "Yeah, basically."  
"So...let me get this straight. You imprinted on the leech. You don't love the leech. You have to do whatever the leech wants."  
"Yeah."  
"So why hasn't she just told you to have sex with her?"  
"Well, I have some control over my actions. Sometimes I can manage to stop myself. I still have my morals. They haven't changed." I grinned at her. Leah looked at me for a second and started to laugh almost hysterically.  
"Jacob Black with morals? Ha! Tell me another one."  
I smiled as she laughed next to me. Calming her laughter down, she placed her hand on my knee. To my surprise, tingles shot up my leg at her touch. I coughed to cover up my sharp intake of breath. Leah bit her lip and removed her hand.  
"You'll be fine, Jake," she said. "I don't have any advice, but you'll be right."  
I grabbed her hand. "Thanks, Leah." I smiled at her. She grinned.  
"Careful, Jake. You might get sentimental there." She was laughing, but she squeezed my hand before she let it go. 


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns everything about the Twilight series and I am not making any money off her characters.**

**CHAPTER SIX**

I couldn't believe how different it was with Leah than with Nessie. When Nessie was around, I had to fight to stop myself from touching her or even simply looking at her. With Leah I was...free. There was no other way of describing it. I couldn't understand how I'd never noticed it before. I didn't have to worry about letting my guard down or losing control around her.  
"Jake? Jake, are you okay?" Leah laughed. "You're staring at me like I'm the last one of Emily's cupcakes."  
I shook myself out of my thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine. When am I ever not fine?"

We were sitting on the couch in my little house. I had invited Leah in to kill time before Paul and I had to go do patrol duty.  
"When are you up for duty?" I asked her now. "Did Sam give you a time?"  
"Yeah, I'm on at some insane time early in the morning. Sam knows I hate mornings." Leah laughed and grabbed the bag of chips I was holding. It still amazed me that Leah, Sam and Emily had sorted out their issues so well. Mind you, considering it had taken them the best part of 5 years, they should have done a good job. Leah and Em were back to their sister-like status, and Sam and Leah could work together effectively without boring the rest of us to tears with their sob stories.

Leah and I spent the rest of the afternoon fighting over several packets of chips while playing video games that made us argue over the winner of each competition.  
"Hey, Jake, I better run. I promised Mom I'd help her out with some council stuff tonight. Have a good patrol duty." She punched me jokingly on the shoulder. "And I totally won in Halo. No, I _dominated_ in Halo."  
"Yeah, yeah," I said. "I only let you win so you could feel better about the fact that I totally owned in COD."  
She laughed and jogged down my driveway, pausing to wave back to me before she phased and took off at a run into the forest. I leant against the door frame and watched her disappear into the darkening trees.

"Yo, Jake, let's go!" Paul yelled from the edge of the forest. I started guiltily, as though I had been doing something wrong.  
"Coming," I called back. I took a last look at the trees and jogged down to Paul. He looked at me somewhat suspiciously but didn't say anything. I gave him 5 minutes, tops, before he couldn't hold in the jokes anymore.  
"Let's head out, man," he said, still eyeing me. I nodded and we phased as we ran into the forest together.

We spread apart some distance, keeping tabs on each other through our thoughts. I wasn't afraid of any bloodsuckers creeping up on me. I was the ultimate vampire slayer. Buffy had nothing on me. I could smell them coming from a mile off. I was faster than them and stronger than most of them.  
We had been on patrol for ten minutes before Paul started. I was impressed at his willpower.  
_So you and Leah, huh? What does your bloodsucker think of that?_

_**Shut up, Paul. We were just hanging out while I waited for you. **_

_Uh huh. I just didn't know you could two-time an imprintee._

I growled. _**Paul! Leah and I are packmates. Friends! Nothing is going on, okay? I have to be with Ness.**_

Paul picked up on my _have to be_, and was a little surprised, but he shrugged it off.

_You know, Jake, if I had to choose between a leech and Leah, it'd be Leah all the time. I mean, she's a bitch, but she's not a bloodsucker._

_**Leah's not a bitch. **_

_Ha ha! Gotcha! You_ do _like her, don't you? Is that even possible? _

_**Paul, we are not having this conversation, okay? **_

_But we are. You can't stop thinking about her. And she likes you, dude. I mean, you haven't been around the pack much lately, but she's always thinking about you in some way. _

_**Really? **_

_Totally. It's like she's back with the Sam and Emily thing again. But seriously, is it even possible to just choose someone else?_

_**I wouldn't know, Paul. I haven't tried. **_

_Whatever, man. Good luck trying to beat imprinting. That type of devotion is some crazy shit. _

I decided to just ignore him. But I couldn't stop him hearing everything I thought. For the rest of our patrol he kept making jibes about me and Nessie and me and Leah until I was just about ready to scream. As soon as Sam and Jared turned up to relieve us, I sprinted through the trees back to my house. I heard the resulting conversation as clear as day, however.

_**What's with him? **_Sam.

_Hey, I didn't do anything, if that's what you're asking. I was just giving him a little crap about his bloodsucker. _

_**Paul...just let it go, will you? Leave Jake alone. **_

That was good enough for me. Paul wouldn't be able to ignore a direct order from Sam. I phased as soon as I got to the house so I didn't have to listen to any more wolf stuff. For once I wished I was just a normal kid with normal problems.

Scowling, I sank onto my bed and crashed immediately; letting my dreams fill with strange images of Nessie phasing into a huge grey wolf and running alongside me in my own wolf form.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

I jerked awake very suddenly. I lay with my eyes closed for a second while I tried to figure out what had woken me up. I opened my eyes, squinting in the bright sunlight that streamed through my open curtains.

"Morning, handsome," said a familiar voice from my door. Nessie stood in the door watching me as I started in surprise. I forced a smile and sank back onto my pillows.

"What are you doing here, Nessie?' I asked. "You're safer at home. What if the Volturi show up?"

"I'll call for you. I know you'd come," she smiled, skipping to the bed. She lay down beside me and kissed me lightly. I groaned, which Nessie mistook for passion, as she kissed me deeper and harder. I willed myself to push her away, and miraculously managed to do so. Nessie sat up and looked at me.

"Jake. I don't know what your deal is right now, but I want you to kiss me."

I swore inwardly as I tried to fight the request.

"So just drop the crap—" I rolled us both so that I was above Nessie and kissed her passionately, interrupting her mid-sentence. Nessie broke the kiss first, gasping for air in surprise, while I peppered her neck with soft butterfly kisses. Nessie recovered quickly and made the most of my sudden turnaround by kissing me again just as passionately, her hands exploring my bare chest and torso, moving down to my pants buckle. She hesitated, but unbuckled it quickly and started to push them down. So predictable. I had to stop this. But I couldn't stop kissing Nessie until she stopped me. She had commanded me to kiss her, and I couldn't stop it myself.

"Jake? Jake, are you awake—oh," Leah had burst through the door without knocking. Nessie pushed me away in fright.

"Oh, thank God," I breathed, rolling away from Nessie and hurriedly buckling my pants again. Nessie frowned.

"What did you just say?" she asked suspiciously.

"I said, oh, what now, babe," I lied. Ness narrowed her eyes, but seemed to buy it. She turned her attention to Leah, who was standing awkwardly at the door, looking anywhere but at me.

"And what the hell do you want?" Nessie snapped. Leah scowled at her.

"Sam made me come get Jake, bloodsucker. He's meant to be protecting your _family, _not getting down and dirty with you."

"How dare you—"Nessie started furiously, but I jumped between them quickly.

"Leah, I'll be out in a sec. Wait for me outside?" I asked, sending her an _I'll-explain-later _look. She wasn't happy but she backed out of the door, still shooting daggers at Nessie. I kept silent until I heard her slam the front door. Hard. I rounded on Nessie. She was still scowling, an expression that turned her normally beautiful face into something unrecognisable.

"Do you mind not offending my pack, Ness?" I said angrily.

"She hates me," Nessie snarled. I rolled my eyes. "And she interrupted us. It's not fair."

"Who cares? Seriously, Nessie, you're acting like a goddamn spoilt baby!" I shouted. Nessie's eyes widened in shock. I sucked in my breath as I realised what I had said. But even as the imprinting tried to take control again, it was like a dam had broken. I couldn't stop the words coming.

"You don't just act it. You _are _spoilt. You're petted, and coddled, and it's turned you into a little princess, Renesmee. Daddy's perfect little girl. Jacob's perfect girlfriend. You know what, Renesmee? I don't want this. I never wanted this. I hate every minute I spend alive right now, because I imprinted on you."

It was a sick sort of satisfaction to get the words out, and I couldn't stop. The look on Renesmee's face was almost unbearable as I saw the hurt I was causing her and part of me hated myself. But I had to say it all now I had started.

"Renesmee. Nessie. You control me. You don't realise it, but you do. Every single little thing I do in my life is dictated by you. And I hate it."

Nessie's eyes were filling with tears. "Jake, please," she whispered, reaching out a hand to me. I ignored it.

"I'm obsessed with you, Renesmee. But I sure as hell don't love you." With that, I turned and ran out the room, like the coward I am, unable to face Nessie and her pain.

I threw open the bathroom door and shut it behind me. This was it. There was nothing left anymore. Now that Nessie knew everything, I wouldn't be able to stand to be around her anymore, which would kill me a little inside every day as I was still forced to orient my actions around her. I grabbed my bag of pills and ripped it open. I shoved a handful of them into my mouth, took a mouthful of water from the tap and tried to swallow. But a single image floated across my mind, blocking my throat: _Leah. _I shook myself and cleared my mind and told myself: _Swallow, dammit. _  
But Leah's image kept coming to the front of my mind and I still couldn't swallow.

Suddenly there was a loud hammering on the door. _Crap, _I thought. _Swallow, Jake!  
_"Jake, if you're in there, we have to go now! Sam says it's urgent!" Leah's voice was hurried and frantic. "Jake? Jake, answer me!"  
Leah banged on the door again. "Jake, I'm coming in right now!"

My eyes flickered to the lock. _Shit._ It wasn't locked. I lunged for it just as it turned and Leah rushed in. I sank back against the bath tub, still pathetically unable to swallow. She had stopped short just inside the door, her eyes travelling over the bag of pills, now half-empty, to me, with my cheeks bulging with water and tablets.

"Holy _shit, _Jake! Spit them out!" she was hysterical as soon as she put two and two together. I shook my head pathetically, a tear dropping down my cheek.

"Jake! Listen to me. You may not think you have anything to live for, but you do. You have Billy. You have the pack. We need you, Jake. _I _need you, Jake." She was sobbing now, reaching out to me. My heart broke to see her crying. This wasn't like before with Nessie. Nessie's crying had given me strange sense of relief, because it meant I had released all of my frustration. But this...I just wanted to do anything I could to stop it. I squeezed Leah's hand as I leant over the sink and spat out what I had thought was the only way out of this mess. Leah's shoulders slumped and she sank back against the tub, hurriedly wiping her eyes.

"Don't you _ever _do anything to scare me like that again, okay?" she said thickly. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I had a fight with Renesmee." I replied, rubbing my own eyes.

"Oh my God, what happened?"

"I told her I didn't love her." My voice was emotionless. "I told her I didn't want her."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Leah stood up and wiped her eyes.

"Good on you, Jake," she said softly. "You needed to do it."

I turned away and ducked my head, ashamed, as my eyes filled with tears. I braced myself against the counter and ran the tap, watching my pathetic attempt at suicide swirl away down the drain. I felt a soft hand touch my arm and I looked up at the ceiling, blinking fast.

"Jake, you did the right thing," she murmured, squeezing my arm tightly.

"You don't understand, Leah," I choked. "Because I yelled at her and hurt her feelings, the control that the imprinting has on me, which is still there, is making me feel like absolute crap right now. I hate myself for breaking her heart."

"Is that why you tried to do...this?" she asked. I shrugged.

"It's been a long time coming," I answered truthfully. "I just hate it so much." My voice cracked on the last word and I rested my head on the counter, my shoulders shaking with repressed sobs. Leah placed her hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"Jacob, its okay," she said. "The bloodsucker will get over it. She'll run crying to Mummy and maybe her father will want to kill you, you know, even more than he already does, but she'll be fine. It's just a break up to her. And you...there's always hope, Jake. As long as you're alive, there's hope."

Leah pulled me to face her. I wiped my eyes hurriedly in embarrassment. She grabbed my hands and pulled them away from my eyes. She hesitated, but caressed my face gently. I closed my eyes and marvelled at the tingles spreading through my body at her touch. Leah wrapped her hands around my neck and leant towards me, her heart rate quickening. But suddenly, my body refused to respond to anything. As she got closer, my body became frozen. I couldn't move. As soon as her lips touched mine, it was as if the part of me that could fight the imprinting had been chained and locked in a tiny corner of my brain. The imprinting knew that this wasn't Nessie, and was therefore wrong, while the real me could still feel and want Leah. I wanted to touch her, to feel the warmth of her kisses, but I was just a slave to my own body. Against everything I wanted, my hands pushed Leah away gently. She smiled sadly.

"Either I've been reading you wrong for the past couple of months, or you're still controlled by that filthy leech."

"Leah, I'm so sorry," I managed. "I can't do it."

She nodded. "I didn't think you could. But it was worth a try, right?" Still with a little sad smile that threatened to break my heart, she said,

"Sam called us all up for a meeting. We better go. It sounded important."

"Uh, yeah, sure," I said lamely. I followed her out of the bathroom and down the hall. I couldn't resist looking into my bedroom. It was empty. Obviously Nessie had left, "gone crying to Mummy", as Leah had put it. I couldn't shake the guilt I felt at hurting her, but it sounded like I had other things to worry about at the moment.

Leah and I phased together at the end of the driveway. This was what I had been dreading, in a way. On one hand, I wanted her to see how sorry I was, and how much I had actually wanted to kiss her back, which I couldn't tell her because of the imprinting. But on the other hand, I didn't want her to see that part of me that still wanted to be with Nessie. That nothing in terms of the imprinting had changed. I focused on the former a lot, trying to push Nessie out of my mind. Not easy when you're forced to think about her every minute of every day.

_Jake, its okay. I understand._

_**Do you, Leah? **_

_Yeah, of course. I think I understand being the third wheel in a relationship better than anyone. _

Of course. I had forgotten about Sam and Emily.

_**Well, I'm really sorry. I just couldn't make myself—**_

**Could you guys cut the crap? We have an issue here! **Jared's "voice" cut in. He sounded really pissed off. Leah and I looked at each other and simultaneously sped up.

**Ha ha! I knew it, Jake! **That was Paul, of course. **Now you **_**have**_** to tell me, Jake, how did the leech take it?**

_**Shut it, Paul. **_I thought irritably.

_Leah, Jacob, you need to get here fast. I'm serious. We have a problem. A major one. _Sam definitely sounded worried. _So quit the arguing, guys. _

Leah and I were running full out now, while the rest of the pack kept silent.

_**Sam! Just tell us now, before we get there! **_

_The psychic was wrong. They're not coming in two weeks. They're coming now. _

_**Now? **_I demanded. _**How long do we have? **_

_Well, Alice thinks we have at least 24 hours. I mean, they have to take a plane. Even the bloodsuckers can't swim all the way from Italy. _

_**She got the two weeks wrong. She might have got this wrong too. **_

_Maybe, so we need to coordinate right now. We've spoken to the Cullens. They're going to draw the Volturi to a clearing just north of the reservation. It's a better site for a fight than the Cullens' house._

_**And then we fight? **_

_The leader one, Carlisle, wants us to give them a chance to talk first. He thinks that in a fight, the Volturi's individual powers might be too much for us. _

_**They won't talk for long. They've wanted Edward and Alice since forever. And now they want Bella for her shield thing. So she can protect them, make them even stronger.**_

_You know a lot about this Volturi?_

_**Well, yeah. I imprinted on a vampire, remember? I was practically one of the family. **_

If Sam picked up on the bitterness in my voice, he didn't show it.

_Well, we can use your information. Where are you two?_

_**We've just got to the reservation. **_

_Okay, head north for about five minutes. You know the clearing, right? We've had a couple of meetings there. _

_**I know it. We'll be there in five. **_

_Jake, Leah, the Cullens are here. So stay in wolf form when you get here. _

My hackles rose up involuntarily and I growled.

_Jake, chill. _Leah thought. _It'll be fine. And if I can think that, you can too, okay? _

I snarled at no-one but relaxed. Leah was keeping her thoughts carefully clear about what had happened in the bathroom, and I followed her lead. That was one thing I definitely did not need the pack to know. __

Leah and I ran into the clearing and slowed to a walk, circling around the Cullens, to stand with the pack at the far edge of the clearing. As I moved to stand next to Sam, I saw her. Nessie was standing with Edward and Bella, determinedly not looking at me. I could sense, rather than see, the tears in her eyes. Bella stood with her arm around her, while Edward murmured something into Nessie's ear. Edward looked up and saw me staring at them. His eyes flashed pitch black and his upper lip lifted, displaying his white teeth in a threat. He stepped away from his daughter and I could feel his fury building as he looked at me.

"You son of a bitch," he spat. Carlisle and the other Cullens spun around and watched warily. I growled from deep in my throat and lifted my hackles, taking a few steps forward.

"How could you do that to my daughter, _you son of a fucking bitch!_" Bella and Nessie gasped. My tail twitched in anger.

_**I didn't do anything, you asshole.**_I thought back to him. _**I told her a few home truths. **_

"You broke her fucking heart, dog! And I'm just going to have to break _you!_"

Edward ran forward so fast I barely had time to react. I dodged out of the way and he flew past me, slamming into a tree opposite. He snarled and ran back to me. I was prepared this time and leapt towards him, my huge paws outstretched. I slashed at his face and left scratches that would disappear in less than a minute. He slammed into me and I flew backwards, slamming against the ground so hard the wind was knocked out of me. Before I could get up, he was on me, his hand pinning me down at the throat.

"You are going to pay for what you did, dog. I will kill you for what you did to my daughter."

_**Go ahead, leech. **_I thought vehemently._**Go ahead and do it. Take away the only reason the wolf pack is protecting your sorry bunch of bloodsuckers. **_

"What are you talking about, mutt?" Edward snarled.

_**Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are we? The only reason you have the alliance of the pack is because of me. Take that away, and Sam won't hesitate to kill all of you to protect our land from you filthy bloodsuckers. You think we just want to kill the Volturi? That's bullshit. We'd leave you to kill each other if I hadn't imprinted on your precious daughter. We are bound by law to protect imprintees, and that includes protecting their families. So count yourself goddamn lucky. **_

Edward narrowed his eyes at me. "We don't need help from a pack of mutts!"

My pack growled ferociously at that.

_**I'm telling you, Edward. They won't hesitate to kill you. Kill me. Do it. Do it and watch your whole family die around you. **_

Edward's fingers slackened. I pushed myself up so hard he fell back against the ground. I stared him down.

_**We have a fight to win here, Edward. And I may not love your daughter, but I'm bound to her. I'd give my life up to protect her, not voluntarily, but I would do it nonetheless. You just remember that. **_


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

The clearing was absolutely silent, broken only by the low rumble of growls coming from Leah. She was posed as though to pounce, her hackles raised and her eyes focused purely on Edward. I trotted back to her and playfully head-butted her.

_**Chill out, Leah. It'll be fine. And if I can think that, so can you. **_I repeated her words back to her jokingly. She relaxed slightly and grinned a strange wolf smile.

_The bloodsucker would have killed you, Jacob. Excuse me for getting angry. _

_**He wouldn't have killed me. I'm too tough for that. **_

Across the clearing, Edward snorted. Laughing inwardly, I took my place next to Sam again. Carlisle stepped forward and addressed Sam, looking to Edward for translation.

"Sam, we know that this alliance with your pack is a shaky one. What just happened proved that. But the Volturi are more dangerous in a fight than anything you will have come up against. We need to know that we can trust you."

I growled low. Sam silenced me with a look.

_As long as Nessie and Jake are still alive, we are bound to protect you. You have our word._

"As long as Renesmee and that bastard are still alive, they'll protect us," Edward stated blandly. I snarled ferociously and took a step forward menacingly.

_Jacob! Stand down! Now! _

I couldn't disobey a direct order from Sam, no matter how much I wanted to. I stepped back in line with Sam and contented myself with staring daggers at Edward.

"Okay. I suppose that's all we can ask for," Carlisle said.

Rosalie's boyfriend, the big, brawny one, stepped forward.

"And if Jacob is killed in the fight? What then, you're just going to turn on us as well?" he demanded. "This is bogus, Carlisle, we can't trust them."

_If Jacob is killed in the fight, we will keep fighting the Volturi to protect the rest of us. We won't be doing it for you, but I will give you our word that we will not harm a Cullen. _

_**Until the fight is over...**_ I thought menacingly. Edward displayed no emotion as he relayed Sam's message to Carlisle and Emmett, but I knew he had heard me.

"Happy, Emmett?" Carlisle asked. Emmett nodded reluctantly, and moved back to Rosalie.  
"Right, then. If we've got our differences sorted, we should coordinate. If this comes down to a fight, you need to know how to block their powers."

_**Can't Bella just use her shield thing?**_

"Black wants to know if Bella will be protecting us," Edward relayed. I noted the use of my surname, amused.

"She can," Carlisle answered. "But it's a big ask. To sustain a shield of that magnitude takes a lot of endurance. Not to mention that it will be incredibly difficult to distinguish between our forces ad theirs when we're fighting at close range."

"Bella doesn't have to do that. We'll be fine without a shield." Edward said tightly, holding Bella close to him.

_**What's the matter, leech? **_I mocked. _**Still afraid to let Bella think for herself?**_

Edward's lips tightened and he turned his head slowly towards me.

"Edward!" Carlisle said warningly. Edward clenched his fists, and gritted his teeth.

_Jake, just leave it, okay? _Sam thought wearily. _You do have to work with the guy._

As that was an order, I fell silent and didn't "speak" to Edward directly again. Meanwhile, Carlisle was detailing each of the Volturi's powers.

"The most dangerous power belongs to Alec. He can cut off every single one of your senses and leave you paralysed, unable to see, hear or feel anything. Then they can kill you without a fight. The only way I can think of to avoid that is Bella shielding us."

_**We'll just take him out first. Simple. **_

Edward laughed derisively. "Good luck getting near him, dog."

_**What if we have the element of surprise? They probably don't know that we've been bound to help you. I bet they think it'll be an easy fight. Even if Bella protects you lot, they're stronger than you.**_

"Bullshit! We can take them!" Emmett cried, flexing his muscles, after Edward relayed my message. I rolled my eyes and continued.

_**The point is, if we attack from every angle, without them expecting it, we'll gain the advantage. If we can get this Alec down first, we should be able to target Jane and Aro fairly easily. **_

Edward cocked his head and seemed interested as he repeated my plan.

"It'll be anything but easy, Jacob," Carlisle smiled. "But your idea is good. They will want to negotiate first. That gives us time to see if they will leave us be."

I shook my head. _**You know they won't. **_

Edward half-smiled. "He says they won't."

Carlisle nodded. "Then we'll fight. We can gain the upper hand quickly, if we are lucky. Jane and Alec must be the first targets. Then the only other member who can stop us attacking is Renata, and she will not unless Aro is under direct threat."

_Okay. _Sam thought to the pack. _This is our order. Jacob and I will go for Alec. Leah and Paul, you go for Jane. While we still have the element of surprise, Seth and Jared will attack Renata to leave Aro vulnerable. Quil and Embry will go for Demetri..._

Sam handed out our victims like they were a class assignment. I shivered at the thought of Leah going up against Jane and her torture.

_Hey, Jake! Stop imagining me getting tortured. It's giving me a bad feeling about this! _Leah thought to me sarcastically. _Chill, man. We've got this. They're just filthy leeches. _

I forced myself to stop the sick images floating in my mind.

_**Sorry. **_I thought guiltily. _**I don't want her to hurt you, that's all. **_

Paul started making gagging noises through his thoughts and mimed vomiting in his wolf form. Quil, Embry and Jared all laughed in their thoughts. Leah responded by playfully nipping Paul on his right flank, causing him to yelp in mock pain. We all joined in the mock melee, with Sam looking on, rolling his wolf eyes.

"Carlisle!" a strangled voice from the edge of the clearing stopped our playfulness. It was Alice, and she looked terrified. "Carlisle, they're here. They're less than a minute away."

The words were barely out of her mouth before Sam was issuing orders to us. He told us to get into the trees and spread out around the clearing in our pairs. We blended into the environment perfectly, like the predators we were. We stayed in our ordered pairs, ready to orient ourselves to our targets, when they arrived. I sniffed the air and caught a whiff of the foul smell carried only by bloodsuckers, though different enough to not get confused with the Cullens.

_**I can smell them! They're getting closer. **_

_I smell it too. Get ready to change positions, everybody. _

The smell drew closer very fast. They would be running, led by Demetri, their famous tracker.

Sam and I melted back behind leaves as we glimpsed them striding towards the clearing. Demetri was in the lead, walking with purpose as he knew he had found his prey. The vampires were so intent on the scent of the Cullens they didn't even register ours. We stole forwards carefully so we could see and hear what was happening in the clearing. We stopped and waited for the Volturi to make their entrance. The silky soft voice of Aro was the first thing we heard.

"My dear friend Carlisle...I am afraid it's been too long since we last met..."


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

Slowly, silently, each pair moved to orient themselves with their intended victim. Sam and I crept slowly to lurk directly behind the brooding form that was Alec. Maybe it was a low act, but we had agreed it was best for us to attack from behind wherever possible, to both minimise the risk of getting hit with one of their powers and keep the element of surprise going as long as possible. Carlisle had given Sam a signal to wait for and we watched and waited from our hiding spot.

"Aro, how nice to see you again," Carlisle lied, acting the perfect host. "I would say it was a pleasant surprise, but I'm afraid it wasn't." He smiled, gesturing to Alice.

"Of course," Aro said silkily. "So you already know the reason we travelled all this way?"

"Naturally," Carlisle smiled.

Aro nodded in satisfaction and I saw Alice shudder. Aro surveyed the rest of the group. I noticed the guard behind him studying each of the Cullens, probably counting numbers. As it stood, the Cullens were severely outnumbered, and I saw Alec smirk at Jane. My blood boiled and I longed to start the fight. A swift glare from Sam settled me down somewhat.

_Wait for the signal, Jake. _Sam warned. I shook myself and listened to the conversation at hand.

"Well, Carlisle, you know I have nothing but respect for your, uh, way of life," Aro said, somewhat disdainfully. "And you also know I am full of admiration for your self-control. Why, how well I remember Bella's scent! And you endured her presence for years before you finally turned her."

"You flatter us, Aro," Carlisle said smoothly. Behind him, Nessie shifted nervously. My body, if not my heart, longed to protect her by killing all of her enemies, but luckily I was still under an order from my Alpha.

There was a smile in Aro's voice as he replied.

"Not flattery, my dear friend. There is no need for your suffering, you know. There is another way."

Carlisle smiled tightly.

"I'm afraid my family doesn't see it like that, Aro."

"No, I'm aware of that. But we are willing to accept your oddities, Carlisle. You know the Volturi can provide for your family in ways human life simply cannot."

We had finished with the small talk, finally. My paws were itching to fight, but I couldn't. Not yet.

"You must think of the possibilities, Carlisle! With your family's powers, the Volturi can achieve unimaginable success! Think of it, Edward's long-distance telepathy that gets current thoughts, combined with my abilities. Alice's power speaks for itself, really. She can join Demetri and hunt down anyone they please!"

Jasper growled slightly. Misunderstanding, Aro continued,

"And Jasper, your abilities are simply too good to pass up. If we have anyone under questioning, what is better than a vampire to make them feel...comfortable enough to confess willingly!"

"You know we do not think of our abilities the same way you do, Aro," Edward spoke up tightly. From the back, I saw Aro's head turn slowly towards him. He was standing slightly in front of Bella and Nessie protectively.

"Ah!" Aro breathed. "Beautiful Bella! The one who gave up her life for one of us. I must admit you lost a little appeal when you lost your scent..."

Edward growled dangerously. Aro continued, a sneer evident in his silky voice.

"You can be the most prized possession in the Volturi, Bella. You shielding us will give us a whole new level of strength that will render us unbeatable. Surely, Carlisle, you would want your family to have a part of the vampire revolution? Eternal protection? You will never come under threat, ever! Your lovely mate, although slightly useless, I admit, will be allowed to join us as well. You cannot pass up this offer, Carlisle," Aro's voice had taken a dangerous undertone that was perfectly evident in his seemingly friendly offer. Carlisle's face had turned stony at the mention of Esme.

"I'm sorry Aro," he said stiffly. "We do not accept your, uh, kind offer."

I saw the guard shift in their places, no doubt waiting from a signal from Aro. Simultaneously, I saw Bella shut her eyes.

Aro turned, and I could plainly see the anger on his face. I shook with pent-up energy, aching to fight. Aro held up his hand and gestured for his guard to wait. He turned back to Carlisle.

"You know, Carlisle, I am not one to...share," he said softly.

"I am aware, Aro," Carlisle said, acting like he did not know what was coming.

"Well, it pains me, but I feel I must—"

"Aro," Carlisle interrupted. Aro stopped, probably hopeful now. "You are perhaps aware that you will have to drag us from this clearing. _Kicking and screaming_," he said, emphasising the last words while moving his gaze to stare over the guards' shoulders to make sudden eye contact with me.

My muscles suddenly unclenched. I leaped, Sam alongside me. I was only vaguely aware of the other wolves leaping from behind the trees as I focused solely on my prey. Alec turned, too slow. I was on him fast, grabbing him by the arm and, in one fluid motion, ripping it off. Alec screamed in pain as I dropped it, but he had little time to recover as Sam did the same on his leg, ripping it clean off from the knee down. Alec, frantic, locked his gaze on me. I flinched, but I was immune, thanks to Bella who was standing on the very edge of the clearing with her eyes shut, a look of immense concentration on her face. Alec's eyes widened and he faltered long enough for Sam to shove him to the ground and rip his head off. The sounds of teeth scraping on rock filled my ears as I stared around the battle for my next target. Leah and Paul had not had as much luck with Jane as we had had, as Jane was nimble and strong, even without her torture power. I bounded up from behind and leaped, paws outstretched, and clenched my teeth around her rock-hard neck. She screamed in pain and fury and struggled against me, but three on one was no competition for us as we ripped simultaneously, ripping her limb from limb.

With the two most dangerous down, I felt supremely confident as I looked for my next target. It was a blur of fur and stone as both vampires and wolves fought to the death. We were slowly losing our advantage, I realised. The Volturi were getting more into the fight. Aro was locked in a fierce battle with Sam and Edward. Renata, his protector, was fighting Alice and Jasper. She was going to lose, and she knew it. I could tell from her face. Suddenly, she ducked as Jasper made a leap for her, slid under him gracefully, and took off towards the forest. She hadn't seen me, as she was looking over her shoulder for any vampire pursuers. She ran almost straight into me when she skidded to a stop in front of me, her eyes wide in fear as she realised what I was. I grinned a wolfish grin at her before I leaped, slashing my paws and snapping my teeth, hitting square on her chest. She reeled back and hit Jasper, who grabbed an arm and pulled her closer to him. It was a strange moment as it looked like Jasper was simply leaning in for a kiss, until he wrapped his arm around her head in a headlock and pulled it back, snapping it clean off. I nodded a thank you and ran back into the fray while Jasper pulled apart the rest of Renata's body.

The screaming of vampires filled my ears. I didn't know whether it was just the Volturi screaming in pain, or whether the Cullens were being picked off too. All I could see was flashes of clothes and black robes that were the vampires, and the flashes of fur that was my pack. Suddenly, an arm wrapped around my neck. My reactions were faster than the bloodsucker had obviously thought, as I ducked my head and sped backwards, breaking the tight hold. I growled and pounced on Demetri, the tracker. Thoughts of Quil and Embry flashed through my mind even as I slashed and bit at Demetri. He was fast, I gave him that. The fight was intense, me snapping and succeeding in pulling only small bits of vampire flesh off. But he was getting no closer to me as I dodged and leaped around him. We were perfectly even.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

What happened next was nearly my downfall. A long, drawn-out scream tore at my insides and I spun around, instinctively knowing who it was coming from. Nessie was in the grasp of Marcus, his teeth at her throat. I started to run towards her, ready to throw myself on Marcus and get myself killed. But I didn't get the chance for my second suicide attempt of the week. Taking advantage of my lapse in concentration, Demetri grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. I yelped pathetically and squirmed as he started to squeeze. I howled even more pathetically as something that felt like my ribs broke. I had given myself up for dead and was waiting for my life to flash in front of my eyes when, suddenly, the pressure was released. I dropped to the ground, feeling the pain in my chest intensely. I struggled to my feet and looked to see what had saved me. A flash of grey fur blew past me. I blinked as Leah leaped and miraculously managed to latch her teeth around Demetri's neck. As he struggled, she sank her teeth in further. I marvelled at her strength as she held on, withstanding the blows from his flailing arms.

_Jake, if you're even a little bit alive, help would be great right now! _Leah thought grumpily. I sent a quick apology through my thoughts, gritted my teeth against the pain, and leapt at Demetri, knocking his feet out from under him. As soon as he was on the ground, I went for his arms and pulled them from his body to howl of pain from Demetri. Leah, taking advantage of both his distraction and the fact that he longer had any arms to hit her with, ripped his head cleanly off his neck. Breathing hard, we looked at each other, each sending a mutual thank you to the other.

My heart wanted to stay close to Leah and try to make sure she didn't get hurt, but as always, my body had other ideas. I spun around and sprinted to where Nessie had been. She was lying on the ground, motionless, and my stomach seemed to fall out of my body. Running on pure adrenaline and oblivious to the pain in my chest, I sprinted to her and nudged her gently with my nose. She moaned and shifted slightly on the ground. My blood boiled and I spun, searching for Marcus desperately. I darted between the various battles until I saw him. Dismembered on the ground. I blinked in shock. Edward stood over the pieces, wiping his hands coolly.

"You might not love my daughter, but I do," he said, raising an eyebrow at my shocked thoughts. I pulled myself together and gathered myself.

_**Whatever. I've got more bloodsuckers to kill. **_

I turned and searched for a fight that needed backup. I spotted Aro backing away from the battle, somehow having survived Sam's attack. I smiled inwardly in satisfaction and ran towards him. My teeth were at his throat before he even saw me coming. He screamed in pain as I dug my teeth in, and cried,

"Stop! I will command my guard to stand down. The Volturi know when they're outnumbered."

I didn't let go, but I loosened my grip.

_**Is that the truth? **_I thought.

"Yes, yes," Aro said, somewhat impatiently for a guy with his neck in a werewolves mouth. "I'm not stupid, little dog."

I growled and bit down again. He cried out in pain.

"Just let me up. I'll call them off," he cried bitterly. I guess he didn't like to lose. "I know you don't trust me, but I'm no fool, dog. I know when I'm beaten."

I slowly loosened my grip and dropped him to the ground. He got up and dusted himself off, ever showing off his royalty. He only needed to shout one word, _stop_, to make every one of the Volturi stand down. The guard looked less than happy at the surrender, but they obeyed. The Cullens stopped in confusion, and Emmett looked ready to take them down while they had stopped, but Edward, reading my thoughts, stopped him just as he started forwards.

I pushed Aro, none to gently. He narrowed his eyes and said reluctantly,

"We know when we have been beaten, Carlisle. You have killed my most valuable guard members. Jane, Alec, Renata, Demetri. The Volturi is nothing without them, and you knew it."

"Perhaps you should learn from this, Aro. It is better to respect human life and live at peace, than not and live at constant war." Carlisle replied evenly.

Aro sneered. He gestured to the remainder of his people, now a motley bunch of only 7, and they ran out of the clearing at their top vampire speed.

Everyone is the clearing let out their breath in one long sigh of relief. I trotted over to Leah and the pack. My ribs felt funny. There was no pain, but they seemed to have set in the wrong places again. That would mean more rebreaking of bones for me. Great.

_**Hey, guys. Looks like we won, huh? **_It was quiet. Too quiet.

Sam bowed his head. _Jake. We won. But we lost Embry, Jared and Seth. _

Each name felt like a sucker-punch in the gut. Embry, my best friend. Jared, a schoolmate and packmate for as long as I could remember. And Seth...my heart just broke as I heard a whine from Leah. She had always been protective of her brother and had always been there behind him in a battle.

_**How? **_I thought. If I had been speaking, the words wouldn't have come out.

_Embry got caught between Caius and Emmett. Caius was aiming for Emmett and took out anybody in his path. Jared was killed by Renata. She was more skilled than we gave her credit for. And Seth, well, he tried to be a hero and help Quil take down Chelsea. He just...well, he just got in the way. _

Leah had slumped to the ground. I sank to the ground beside her and leant my weight against her. She pressed the side of her face to my warm bulk. I nuzzled her gently.

"Sam?" Carlisle said, coming up behind us. "We've got the bodies for you. We—we found some of our own, too..."

I shut my eyes. I didn't want to hear who else had died.

"Rose...she was killed by Felix. Came up behind her. I don't blame him. It was working well for us."

Rose...I wished I could feel more sad at this news, but the deaths of my packmates overshadowed everything.

"Jasper was killed trying to help Alice. He was killed by Aro himself. And...Bella."

My eyes flew open. I nuzzled Leah again and stood up. Bella? I stared at Carlisle in shock. How on earth had Bella died? She hadn't even been fighting.

"Heidi noticed her concentrating on shielding us. She went for her to give the Volturi a better chance. Bella had her eyes closed. She didn't even see her coming."

I walked slowly past Carlisle. I noted Emmett sitting on a boulder in the corner, his eyes and face completely blank. Alice sat at his feet, staring straight ahead. I was sure if she had been able to cry, tears would have been streaming down her face. I looked past them and saw him. He was staring into a pile of ashes on the ground, Nessie at his side. She had recovered and was standing supported by Edward. Still completely in shock at the number of deaths we had sustained, I left the Cullens to grieve together and walked back to my pack. I had my own grieving to do.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N I am SO sorry it's taken so long for this update. I've been going through some stuff at home that's distracted me a bit, but hopefully I can get back on track with this story now. With school going it might be just about a chapter a week or even a fortnight, but I will be continuing, don't stress! Sorry again :S **_

_Embry, Jared, Seth. _

_Embry, Jared, Seth. _

The three names circled through my mind constantly. I didn't have to look beside me to know that tears were streaming down Leah's face as Billy delivered a stirring eulogy at the front of the room. Fittingly, the window of the hall was streaked with rain, almost like the world was weeping for our lost warriors.

It had been just 4 days since the battle. Carlisle had re-broken and set my ribs, which had healed in less than 2 days. Leah hadn't said a word to me since then, and was staying shut up in her bedroom, according to Sue. Sue had been a pillar of strength since losing her youngest child. As for me, well, I was hardly doing better than Leah. I had even considered the pills again, but my stash had mysteriously disappeared from my bathroom. I suspected Leah had had something to do with their disappearance. Even though all I wanted to do was stay in my room and mope, I had been with Nessie and the Cullens for 2 days. Nessie wasn't talking to me, understandably, and Edward was too far gone to talk to anyone. So I was stuck in the house, unable to leave with Nessie so upset, but feeling out of place with the grieving vampires. I had eventually been told by Nessie to just leave, and I returned to my pack to grieve for my own family.

This funeral was a joint one for the three of us who had died. I couldn't look at the three coffins in front of me. I squeezed my eyes shut as a gruesome image of Embry's corpse flashed through my mind. A lone tear fell down my face and I wiped it away roughly. I jumped as a soft hand squeezed my arm. Looking at Leah, I smiled weakly as Sam got up, his hands shaking as they clutched a piece of paper. He cleared his throat and began his speech.

"Embry. Jared. Seth. These three names are ones I can never yell to get them to shut up in pack meetings anymore." There was a murmur of sad laughter from the crowd. Sam took a deep breath and continued. "Without these three, this pack will never be fully whole again. We will always feel their absence, but we will never replace them. Because you can't replace these types of people. Seth was the youngest wolf we've ever had. But he was braver and more willing than a lot of people my age. Jared was the backbone of this pack. Without him we would have fallen apart. Embry was the jokester, but always ready for action. So without these three, our pack will never be the same. I haven't said a lot, I know, but there can never be enough words to truly give these guys the praise they deserve. Embry, Jared, Seth, we'll miss you guys."

Sam's voice cracked on the last word and he hurried down from the podium, wiping his eyes. Emily squeezed his arm as he sank down into his chair. Billy wheeled himself back out and invited Sue Clearwater out to speak. Beside me, I heard Leah gulp and inhale deeply as she watched her mother stand up next to her and walk slowly and sedately up the aisle.

"Most of you will remember my speech at my husband's funeral seven years ago. I was a wreck, wasn't I? You'd think that losing my youngest child, and only son, would make me just about catatonic. But no. I learnt something from Harry's death. And that is that although we may never see someone we love again, our own lives can't stop. Our time is far better spent remembering the good times, along with the hard times, we spent with them. Seth did not die in vain. He should be remembered as a hero. We cannot, _I _cannot live in anger at what we have lost. I must remember my son, and remember my beautiful daughter who still walks with me today.  
So no, a parent should never have to bury their child. No, it's not fair. But these things happen, and we must just remember that while they might not be physically with us, my son, Embry and Jared will always be with us in some form. Besides, it's not like we'll never see them again, right?"

It was my turn to squeeze Leah's arm as she dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking. Sue glanced down at her and swallowed hard.

"There's nothing wrong with shedding tears over these deaths, and I have. These boys were part of our family here at La Push. We'll never forget them, and we will never truly get over this tragedy, but we must remember that these brave young men died to protect us. Their sacrifice keeps us safe here, and we owe it to them to stay strong within not only ourselves, but as a community. Thank you."

Sue walked back to her seat, her hand trailing over her son's coffin as she passed it. Billy wheeled himself back out to the front, now wiping his own eyes.

"Leah?" he said gently. "Would you like to say something?"

Leah raised her head and roughly brushed the tears away. I looked at her, concerned.

"Are you all right?" I whispered, perhaps stupidly. She nodded quickly and took a deep breath. Standing up, she walked quickly to the front. I could tell that she wanted to get this speech over with. She opened her mouth and tried to speak, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and glanced next to her at Seth's coffin. The framed picture of his smiling face standing on top of it seemed to shake her even more, rather than steady her nerves. Her eyes filled with tears and she squeezed them shut.

"I-I'm sorry," she choked. "I can't do this."

Leah dropped the piece of paper with her speech carefully written out by hand and ran for the door. I stood up and tried to catch her arm, but she shook me off and sprinted out of the double doors. I saw her slight frame framed by the pouring rain for a split second before the doors swung shut.

"Jake," my father said from behind me. "Go."

It was all I needed to hear to engage my brain. I sprinted out the door, praying she hadn't got too far away from me.


	13. Chapter 13

I phased as soon as I got out of the hall. Immediately, I heard Leah's thoughts. I felt guilty at listening in on her most private thoughts, but we all hated that part of the wolf thing.

**Leah! **I called out in my head. Her thoughts were interrupted and I felt her attempt to divert her thoughts away from the images of her brother's death, something I didn't particularly want to see.

_Jake? What are you doing? Go back to the funeral. I'm fine. _

**I just came to talk to you, Leah. **

_Jacob, I'm fine. _She repeated.

**Look, where are you? **

I could sense her reluctance, but eventually she relented and told me to go to the beach. As I sped up, my paws pounding through puddles and soaking my legs, I heard Leah's thoughts disappear as she phased back to human. The rain pelted down, soaking through even my thick fur. I shook it off even as I ran, but I didn't feel cold, die to my wolfy superpowers.  
With the rain clouding even my wolf vision, I didn't see the steep hill that led down to the beach until it was too late. I felt my front paws drop, and I scrabbled to stop myself going over with my back paws, but the wet ground offered no traction for me. I tumbled down the hill, rolling uncontrollably. I yelped as I hit the soaking sand of the beach hard, only to hear laughter coming from in front of me. I phased back, looking up at Leah grumpily.

"Smooth," she said, giggling. Standing up, my face softened as I heard her laugh. This was what I came here to do, right?  
"I did that on purpose," I answered.  
"Yeah, right," she said. "You're just a clumsy idiot." I feigned hurt, but her smile had faded as quickly as a lightbulb being turned off. She turned away from me and walked towards the sea. I hesitated, but followed her. Leah sat in the sand, not even noticing the rain still pelting down. I lowered myself down next to her. I had no idea what to say or do now, and was racking my brain trying to think of something comforting to say, when Leah removed the necessity by saying,

"It seems so wrong to laugh, don't you think?"  
"Well, sure, it's hard, Leah, but you know Seth wouldn't want you to never laugh again," I answered.  
"Maybe, but I want _him _to be able to tell me that," she dissolved into tears. "I want to yell at him to get out of my room. I want to tell him to leave me alone when I'm hanging out with friends. I want to tell him to shut up in meetings before Sam gets to do it. I just want my little brother back." Her voice cracked on the last word and she leant against me, sobbing bitterly. I put my arm around her and rested my chin on her head, my own eyes filling with tears, her unhappiness contagious. We sat like this for the better part of half an hour, in the rain, not speaking, but comforting each other in silence. Despite the rain, I felt more comfortable like this than I had ever felt with Renesmee. Leah lifted her face towards me, the tears mixed with the rain dripping down her face.

"Thank you for being here, Jake. I actually needed you," she said quietly.  
"I needed you too, Leah," I said hoarsely, She half-smiled at the corniness of the reply, but moved her face closer to mine, brushing her lips softly against mine. I closed my eyes, wishing for nothing more than to kiss her back, but even after everything that had happened, I was still under the influence of Renesmee and the imprinting. Leah pulled away and smiled sadly.

"I don't know if it's possible for you to desert her, Jake, but I'm going to wait for you. Do what you have to do for her, but if you want me, I'm here." She stood up and walked away slowly, wiping her eyes. I stood up quickly and called her name, but she just turned around and smiled at me before phasing and sprinting off the beach. In that instant, as I watched her disappear, I made up my mind. I was going to Renesmee and asking to leave. I needed her to tell me I could date Leah.

I would always love her in the back of my mind, but with Nessie's permission, I would be free to love Leah. After Nessie was helped past losing her mother, I would do it. I needed to help her through the grieving process. Just as I was thinking this, my cell phone rang. It was Nessie, and she was frantic.

"Ness? What's happened?" I asked, frightened by the fear in her voice.  
"It's Dad. He's left!"  
"Left? To do what?"  
"What do you think, Jacob?" she growled. "He's run off without leaving a note, right after my mother was killed."  
"Oh for God's sake," I muttered. "Not again."  
"Jacob!" Nessie snapped. "You're the only one who can help me!"  
"Okay, okay, Ness. He'll have gone to Italy. Aro won't have a problem killing him this time, after what happened."


End file.
